"Remember, It Can Be Used as a Weapon" part II

This is part II of a story that I began yesterday (for more, click here):

Great advice there, honey, thanks! So, The VET and R&RM take off for their trip back to the Woody. I, on the other hand, embark on my trip to hell; or that's how I remember it now, I'm sure it wasn't that bad at the time. It takes about 10 minutes for the MWLVR to prepare the van for actual transportation: I don't think that he'd moved it for quite a while; there were blocks under the wheels and string tied from the roof to a neighboring tree.

And we're off! Not quickly however, because it takes a while to knock off the rust on this van, you know? But he finally gets it up the big road out of the state park and onto a dusty state road that will (eventually) lead us to a main intersection, and thusly into town. As we approach this intersection, the van slows to crawl and eventually stops. Without saying a word, MWLVR gets out of the van, which he's turned off, and disappears from view.

Here's a recap of my mental process: "He's walking around the van--I can't see him; is he going to just kill me here, leave my body by the side of the road, and then go back for The Vet?" I wish you could have seen what I looked like at those moments when he was walking around the van: my head was on a swivel so fast, it would've probably been a blur to the human eye. Eventually he came back into sight, through the passenger-side, front window, and completed his circuit of the van. He didn't say a word about stopping, or walking, or being deranged...to this day, I have no flippin' idea what he was doing.

After MWLVR dropped me off at a 7-11, with a pay phone, he left. I was freakin' out because I actually thought he was going back for The Vet. I called AAA and tried to make it abundantly clear that there was a psychopath on the way back for my girlfriend, and so it was in everyone's best interest that they hurry the heck up, but they took what I'm sure is their average response time.

Flash forward a very nervous 45 minutes for me, as I see the two truck fly around the corner. A fairly large woman, whom I'm calling Bertha for the shear irony, pops out and says, "Hi, are you Celexo?" I answer in the affirmative and gets things rolling, literally. Bertha's actually the wife of the driver, whom I meet as I get inside the cabin. I have to sit the middle, which is slightly awkward because the tow truck is a stick shift, and this particular driver has only one arm (for more on the def leppard drummer with only one arm, I particularly enjoy this song for a bit of nostalgia), and of course which arm does have? The left one...

So, here I am squeezed in between a one-armed stick shift driver, who's always reaching over w/his stump to shift and his rather large wife as we barrel around these country roads to come to the rescue of The Vet.

And for the climax of my story, the three of us arrive the stranded Woody, with The Vet and R&RM all intact. As soon as The Driver sees The Woody, he says "You know, there's a 4-wheel drive switch in the car, right?"

Um...no, we didn't try that!

As a bonus story, and because this story just isn't long enough yet, I've got to add this little nugget: later that night, after we made our tent by flashlight we heard what sounded like the end of the world coming from inside The Woody. The dogs were barking and I was refusing to leave the tent. In the morning it turned out that we had left a window open inside and a few raccoons were making a meal for themselves out of our marshmallows!