1.09.2009

Celexo's "Top Five Favorite Things (to HATE)" List

I'm writing today's blog from the Copley Square B@#tix booth...despite my not being on the schedule today, at all! Go figure, right? Well, at 9:56AM I got a call that the current manager is "really sick" and she needs to go home, and "can I come in for the remainder of the day?"

Sure, it's not like I had a meeting with my adviser or plans with TW, or anything like that scheduled. Well, I did end up going to the adviser's house--and the meeting was good, productive and entertaining for both me and TW. We've been doing this joint-advisement sessions the last semester or so, and I think it's been successful for everyone involved (Sarah, the swingy one; we missed you today!).

After the meeting, I drove into town with TW and got dropped off at the booth for the remainder of the day. At least I finagled a ride home from TW--thanks babe! So here I sit, answering questions, and never selling a ticket! Business has been slow this week: crappy (or non-existant) product + even worse economy + bad weather = not a lot of business at the B@#tix booth.

Combine my present location with a particularly funny quote from ER(1) last night, just add water and a little elbow grease: voila, you've got a blog entry. If you know me at all -- seriously even a little bit -- you know that I hate five things with a deep-seated passion. The following annotated list is not ranked, in fact the list probably changes according to my (ever volatile) mood:

#1: Yo-Yo Ma; His mention last night on ER really got my dander up. A little girl is in the hospital because her gall bladder failed; unfortunately, this means that she has to miss her flight (!!!) to NYC to see Yo-Yo MA. Her quote about it is priceless, "It's my destiny to not only meet but play with the great Mr. Ma..." Sheesh, really? I think I've been on high-Ma alert after hearing that he'll be involved with a Super Bowl ad this year; when will this guy go away? In case you were wondering, I don't like his playing or his personality and that's all I'll be saying about that!

#2: Tiger Woods; everybody likes him for no other reason than he's good at golf. Well, that doesn't mean that I have to like him too, does it? Perhaps I just have higher standards. I like Greg Norman and Phil Mickelson; perhaps I like them because they never win, I don't know...?

#3: PEPSI; I absolutely loathe the taste--loathe it. As I have said on video, Coca-Cola is, "God's sweet nectar."

#4: NIKE; I absolutely loathe the shoes--loathe them. They just don't fit my foot, whereas ADIDAS, Puma or Diadoras all feel great.

#5: Cuba Gooding, Jr.; This has got to be the biggest Oscar screw-up of all time.(2) Presumably, the Academy rewards Cuba for screaming at the top of his lungs on camera, which is basically all he did in that movie; then, what does he do to celebrate his win? That's right, he gets up onstage AND STARTS SCREAMING again...

I've got to close with a great line from Clerks: "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"(3)


(1) I know that TW and I are probably the only two people left in America that actually watch ER, but we do and we are, so deal with it. I've watched it pretty much continuously from the beginning, which is either an accomplishment, or just plain sad...

(2) I know that my good friend Al thinks that the Academy's presentation of Best Director to Bob Fosse, for Cabaret, over Francis Ford Coppola and the Godfather II, is crazy, but dem's the breaks.

(3) This is my second-favorite line from a Kevin Smith movie; my all-time favorite, in a slightly-abridged version, is from Chasing Amy, "Variety's the spice of life...sometimes -- not often, but sometimes -- I like the idea of a chick with a horse."

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

The verb is "loathe". If you're going to use it , use it correctly.
Love,
mom

Celexo said...

Seriously? 500 hundred words, and your only comment is a critique? I was actually going for adjective "loath", as is sad or sorrowful, but failed miserably...I like your verb better!

Cake for Breakfast said...

Ha! Your mom corrected your post. That's cute. Do you have to HATE Nike just because they don't fit you? Can't you just accept that they don't fit and consider other footwear options? That's like me saying I hate all size 7 shoes because they're just too small. I think you should rethink this item.

Anonymous said...

I knew I should have taught you how to diagram sentences.

Celexo said...

CfB: two things...1) I think that Nike's sheer ubiquity makes things worse; 2) it's not that their shoes don't fit: they fit, but they hurt like hell once you run around in them--initially, it was a case of bait-and-switch.